Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Heinz Doofenshmirtz, also known as Dr. Doofenshmirtz, is a 47 year old evil scientist hailing from the country of Drusselstein. He is the head of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, and he tends not to be evil in the traditional sense, but rather overly dramatic, eccentric and generally clueless. His usual lair is an office building that he apparently owns, though he's worked from other locations when necessary for his plans.

Doofenshmirtz attempts to wreak generally "evil" havoc and assert his rule across the entire Tri-State Area. Despite true dedication to this mission, almost all of his plans have been thwarted by his nemesis Perry the Platypus, though a few turn out to be successful in nature. Doofenshmirtz has become so used to this foiling that he tends to feel empty or upset on the few occasions where Perry does not stand in his way.

Early life
Since the beginning of his life, Heinz never had a wonderful or even "normal" life. He had mentally abusive parents who never cared about him or even noted possible knowledge of his existence. When Doofenshmirtz was born, neither of his parents "bothered to show up". . He celebrated every birthday after that alone, throwing himself surprise parties at places like Gunther Goat Cheese's. When he did have a birthday cake, it was always eaten by Doonkelberry Bats.

At one time he was actually disowned by his parents, forcing him to live with ocelots. Needing money, he got a job at a carnival as the ball you throw at the target at the dunk tank. At the same time, for a reason that Heinz did not want to relate, he emanated a smell of pork so strong that no one would come near him. So he drew a face on a balloon and named it "Balloony," spraying it with long-lasting spray.

Eventually, he returned to his normal family. His father was so poor that his beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. While other people were allowed to relax, he was forced to be the family's lawn gnome all day and night without being allowed to move in the slightest for any reason even to eat or sleep. At night his only companions were the moon, Balloony, and his neighbor Kenny. During one night, Balloony flew off, and Heinz could not retrieve him.

While his parents awaited their new baby, who they believed to be a girl, they knitted dozens of dresses for their new baby. But their baby was born a boy and was named Roger. Doofenshmirtz was forced to wear the old dresses due to lack of cloth, causing him to be constantly made fun of by his schoolmates, and on top of that, Roger was now favored by Heinz's mother for being a "goody-two shoes".

Roger as well was favored by his mother for his amazing abilities in kickball, a skill in which Heinz was sorely lacking in. Heinz felt even more shunned because of this. He tried to play several sports to impress his mother, but failed at all of them. In grade school, for example, he flunked jungle gym. Heinz was still not completely forgotten, however, it seemed like he was only ever acknowledged so he could be mentally abused more. His mother for example wouldn't let him into public pools, possibly stemming from Heinz's embarrassing failure to perform the high-dive as a rite of manhood.

Heinz entered in his first science fair with his first "Inator", a working laser cannon. He was about to win, but for some reason lost to a baking soda volcano. The next year, he made an "Even-Bigger-Inator" but lost again to a baking soda volcano

When he was around 15, he realized he was unable to grow facial hair and began to think people who grow out their facial hair only do so to make fun of him. Also at this age, he was a big face in the "Shadow Puppet" business, so good that he began dating and had a "Fräulein." But, a new boy in the village with huge hands named Huge-Hands Hans showed up and, though his shadow puppets were garbage (literally), took his "Fräulein" away from him. This could be the cause of Heinz's fear of commitment and terror of dating girls, even into his adulthood.

At around age 16, he went to America. This happened because his parents tricked him into going to the "Schtor", which turned out to be a painting hiding the entrance to a ship bound for America.

In high school, he filmed himself in a very embarrassing moment: in his underwear and a cape, he skated through a room and into a toilet while saying "I am a superstar!" The recording later became a viral video across the Internet and became so well known that he couldn't walk outside his apartment room without being made into a laughing stock.

College years
As a young man, he started his own bratwurst company, Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst, during a time which he described as him being less evil than in his current occupation. He even sold the bratwurst personally as a bratwurst street vendor, but without much, if any, success. Despite having "superior workmanship, finer meats and exotic spices", street vendors that sold hot dogs did much better than bratwurst vendors. At the present time, almost no one (other than Heinz himself) remembers that street vendors once sold bratwursts. Heinz attributes this to hot dog vendors "having it all": chrome-plated carts, endorsement deals and fancy blimps. After two young boys walked by him while he was doing his job as a street vendor and made a joke about selling bratwursts being a telling sign that a person is lame, Heinz vowed that he would get revenge against the hot dog vendors.

He dated Linda Flynn once before she became famous. She actually appears to be, at least in part, the reason why Doofenshmirtz is so focused on controlling and/or terrorizing only the Tri-State Area. At one point she discussed her desires to become a pop-star, but Doofenshmirtz, not believing she could do it replied sarcastically, "Yeah, right, and I'm going to rule the world". Linda replied thoughtfully that he could just start off small, like "with the Tri-State Area"

Career
Since meeting him while getting his photo taken, Doofenshmirtz's nemesis has been Agent P, or Perry the Platypus. Agent P never attempts to lock Doofenshmirtz up, and after every mission he leaves the doctor in the rubble and runs away.

His evil mentor was Professor Destructicon, also known as Kevin to his friends. Kevin's last request before being locked away was to have his protege set the sun on fire. Doofenshmirtz, in a rare moment of clarity, reasoned that the sun is a big ball of fire, so this wouldn't work. So Kevin asked him to just destroy the island hideout instead.

In the summer of one year, Doofenshmirtz attempted to build his own evil nation in the bay of the Tri-State Area out of spite of his brother being elected mayor. The country, however, was on a giant inner tube which was popped and destroyed. Doofenshmirtz went into space in the same summer, and used this time to exact revenge on Huge Hands Hans. He was going to use a space station to create a giant shadow puppet on the moon, thus proving old Hans that he was better. He was thwarted, however, and even almost died by going out into space without a helmet.

Recently, Doofenshmirtz took up an internship with The Regurgitator, mostly because he offered maternity leave, but when he accidentally aided Perry in his capture as well as blowing up his lair, he seems to have returned to his normal evil career. Doofenshmirtz also belongs to the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. organization.